Enough is enough: How men can join the fight against GBV

Posted on November 2, 2020 at 5:00 am.

Written by admin

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South African women have been tirelessly rallying for an end to gender-based violence. Now it’s time for men to take a stand, find out why gender-based violence is so prevalent in SA and learn what they can do to really make a difference. Read on to join the fight…

Gender-based violence (GBV) and femicide are a widespread problem in South Africa, with stats published in the Crimes Against Women in South Africa report showing that femicide in South Africa is 5 times higher than the global average.

According to SaferSpaces, between 25% and 40% of South African women have experienced sexual or physical intimate partner violence, while just under 50% have experienced emotional or economic abuse by their partners in their lifetime.

Why do men need to join the fight?

‘We want to stop gender-based violence before it happens, and that requires tackling toxic masculinity and notions of patriarchy,’ said Bafana Khumalo, co-founder of Sonke Gender Justice, in an interview with the Daily Maverick.

Men play a key role in ending GBV, as they have influence over male social norms within their circles.

To make a real change, they need to speak to their friends, sons, fathers and brothers to help them unlearn the social norms that drive GBV.

Why is GBV so entrenched in South African communities?

‘There is a desperate absence of positive male figures in South African communities, and boys as young as 10 years old are recruited by gangs, perpetuating the cycle of violence,’ says Corna Olivier, a registered psychological counsellor. She adds that there is an overwhelming focus on intervention programmes for women and girls, but virtually none for males.

Some reasons why the cycle of GBV continues in SA include:

• A widespread belief among South African men that they are entitled to women and are more powerful than women
• Men associating masculinity with controlling women
• Violence against women being considered acceptable in some settings and cultures in South Africa, making it difficult for GBV to be addressed effectively
• Gender stereotypes, including linking masculinity with ‘macho’ and violent behaviour and femininity with victimhood and submission
• Being exposed to violence at home during childhood, experiencing abuse or witnessing violence for long periods

What can men do to make a difference?

‘Women are the collateral damage in the battle raging within our boys and men. Anger is a secondary emotion, aggression the expression thereof. The primary emotion is fear. Men need to help men heal,’ says Corna. Men can do the following to help end the cycle:

• Be a dependable role model. The best way to teach is by example. Take responsibility at home, in your workplace and in your social circles, and be a role model for other males, showing them that men need to treat women respectfully and as equals. Raise your male children to treat women with respect, dignity and kindness, and openly discuss the issue of consent – ‘no’ means ‘no’.
• Speak up and take action. Help your colleagues, friends and family members to unlearn the attitude that ‘boys will be boys’. Calling out other men on unacceptable behaviour, such as catcalling, harassment and inappropriate comments, is an important step. Report them for any GBV-related acts and support women when they ask for help.
• Take responsibility for your mental health. If you suspect you are struggling with a mental health condition such as depression, anger or difficulty exercising self-control, see a mental health expert or ask your doctor to refer you to one.

For more insight into gender-based violence, read this helpful article:

• How to protect our women and children

For confidential assistance, contact Life EHS; SMS your name to 31581 and the Care Centre will call you back.

The information is shared on condition that readers will make their own determination, including seeking advice from a professional. E&OE.

References:

• Corna Olivier, Registered Psychological Counsellor
• Graaff, K. (2017). Why Working with Men Could Help Efforts to Combat Violence Against Women. [online] The Conversation. Available at: https://theconversation.com/why-working-with-men-could-help-efforts-to-combat-violence-against-women-75952 [Accessed 10 September 2020]
• SaferSpaces.(n.d.) Gender-based Violence in South Africa. [online] Available at: https://www.saferspaces.org.za/understand/entry/gender-based-violence-in-south-africa [Accessed 10 September 2020]

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